METAMORPHOSIS----THE CHANGE

I reached the Kasargod Railway station early morning, One of my father’s friend(His name is Rajendran) was friend was waiting for me there in the station .But my eyes were in search of my parents ,but I was not able to see them there .I asked him .”Uncle where is my father and mother?”
“Hey your father cant travel much ,he is there in my home ,let’s move ,” he replied. Even though I was aware of ma fathers illness, I never wanted to hear about that .It makes me too much emotional. I moved with him in to his car. We started our journey to his home .In between he told me that ,I am admitted to my new school, Chinmaya Vidyalaya ,at a place called Kanhangad .We reached his home .It was just a journey of 15 min .It was a rented house .It was raining outside .He took an umbrella from his car and gave it to me .it was a two storied building I was confused whether to go upstairs or to stay there itself .(a stair was provided f outside the house ).He pointed his hands towards that stair .I took my bag and moved. The door was closed .I knocked the door. I expected my mother to open the door, and as I expected she opened the door..i gave a smile and she received me with a pleasant smile(I know how much tensed and sad she was) .i went inside my dad was in bed .Looked at me and smiled and asked about my journey. After that we talked for a while regarding my studies. He told that the school is nearly 30 km far from kasargod and I have to go in bus. He also told me that “we will shift from kasargod to Kanhagad within a week, till then we are supposed to live here”.
Next day early morning I left to kanhangad, to my new school with my parents. There is a temple near to school .the gate watch man smiled at me .I moved in slowly .to the school compound .I felt like an alien...A new atmosphere, looked at my father’s face and blinked my eyes and prepared myself to adjust the situations. I must perform well, my mind said .I went in to the principals cabin and she asked me to join the classes immediately..MY class room was in the second floor .I entered the classroom .Everyone in the class stared at me .some people smiled at me; some of them were starting still. I searched for a seat to sit.At last I found one .It was the last bench .One guy asked me to sit there .His name is Aswin K.P .We call him K.P in short. He is really a nice guy .I understood it when I started talking to him .He was ambitious, that’s what I felt. Some girls were murmuring and laughing .But one girl started interacting with me, her name is Deepa. The day went like that I tried to smile at everyone even though my mind was disturbed..I started studying very hard .The days went like that ,In between people started interacting with me ,even my classmates ..but some guys very against me .Even now I don’t know the reason. But I only knew one thing they never liked me talking with Deepa .She was my best friend in my class. She helped me in my studies ,Even Aswin and Avinash helped me a lot in my studies.
I still remember an unforgettable incident in my schooldays in chinmaya.It was an English class going on ,in which our English lecturer Mr Rakesh was teaching as the play “the Julius Caesar”. He asked us a question and asked me to answer it . I was not concentrating in the class. Even he asked to some other guys .They also didn’t answered .He asked us to come forward .I went like that ,but my friends were hesitating to come .I was wondered. Sir asked me to turn, I turned…OH MY GOD ,AMMA(MOTHER) ,I shouted ……..HE slapped me from my Back side .It was really an unforgettable painful blow that I ever got ..then I understood why my classmates hesitated to come forward .Becoz of that slap I learned English in a very nice manner..hehe .i feel like laughing when I write this here … thank u SIR for that mind blowing blow….
I am a tabla player !!!,sum of my friends might be knowing this. So I was a part of school choir .There were many girls in our group ,among that a girl ,she took my heart !!!!....haha. she was my second love…She was a versatile genius..She was damn nice according to me .I approached Deepa for this case ..And asked her to help me in this relation .She told yes and I was too happy …But I was conscious about my situation .I tried to concentrate in my studies a lot …I frequently visited Deepa’s house as well as Avinash’s house ..They were really gr8 .I thank them for supporting me a lot..I used to take my lunch from a hotel opposite to that girls house ..OHHHHHHHHHH I forgot to tell her name .She is CHANDINI..:D..So One day deepa told this thing to her …and Chandini stopped talking to me. I was totally upset..i felt really bad and I thought of saying sorry to her ..I think She told this things to her mom..After that I stopped going to her home …The days passed away….I became very close to my junior students …I mean the 9th standard students, Chandini was a 9th standard student.Those people were just like my siblings… (Except CHANDINI)….I really miss them now…So the school anniversary date came .I was also a part of the programmes .I was supposed to perform a duet song with Deepa ..We started practicing..I was too much interested in the practice session as I will be able to see Chandini ..And it was really a nice celebration (ANNUAL DAY CELEBRATION).We enjoyed a lot ..But Chandini is still a mystery for me ..I think after that I hardly talked to her..I loved her ,but am not sure what happened to that love …But I was totally changed …My exams went nicely and I was sure that I will get nice marks ..But the only thing which haunted me is Chandini .She went in to the darkness .After that I have not seen her …She never said anything to me …Another tragic end for my love haha…..
Words cannot express the grief one feels when one loses love. Then again, wise words can heal wounds and help us reflect on the tragedy. If you have undergone a personal loss -- the loss of love or of a loved one –then do one thing take a deep breath and say ALL IS WELL…

Journey to an Unknown world

After I completed my 9th standard examination, I got vacation for one month .I was really enjoying my vacations. It was during this time my father was admitted in Amrita Institute of Medical Sciences, Kochi .I was not so mature at that time. So I did not know the seriousness of his illness. But as the time passed by, he was still there in the hospital .so then I realised that it was a bit serious issue,I got too much tensed .You people can understand easily how a 14 year old boy would think .My mom was also too much tensed .I was alone in my home ,as my mom was with my father in hospital .I think that was the worst time in my life .No one to say my feelings ,No one to share my thoughts. My mind was totally out of my control. I was behaving like a mentally retarded person. But I didn’t tell these things to any of my friends.
My results came .i passed in all subjects with good marks and then I moved on to 10th standard .My father returned home after spending three months in hospital .At that time I realised the real face of my relatives .No one from my mother’s family came for our help. (We never expected any one of them).But my father’s siblings were too kind to us, they helped us a lot .We were financially down .My mom and dad suffered a lot. I still remember the nights in which I cried ,but no one was there to share my feelings .After that I learned to hold back tears.
Suddenly one day a letter came to my house in Alleppey. It was from my father’s department stating that he is promoted as an officer and got a transfer to Hosdurg(Kanhangad),Kasargod district .He was not fully recovered from his illness. But he was forced to go and join. So my mother also accompanied him to kanhangad. I still remember he was not even able to move a bit without any support .it was pathetic. So I was again alone here in ambalapuzha ( my cousins ,uncle and aunt were there and they were caring too ,but I felt so ).So I continued my studies there at Maria Montessori Central school ,Ambalapuzha with no one to guide me .I became lazy in studies .I never did home works .my parents came to know all those things .As u all know it was the starting of my teenage .So my parents thought of taking me to kanhangad.It was really a big blow for me .Even though I felt that I am alone there ,I never wanted to miss any one there, the place where I learned to walk ,the place where I spend my child hood .I never wanted to miss my friends .But my destiny was something else.
I have to move on, my mind said .i went to my school and told my teachers that I am leaving my school for ever will not come back as a student .Some of my teachers who were just like my mother became sad .I was also too sad that tears were ready to burst out of my eyes .but I controlled myself .I never wanted others to see my tears .I left the school with my eyes full of tears..As I moved on I met Sonu madam(My English teacher).Even I told her that I am leaving School .She told me that its all part of life and u have to move on .I smiled at her and went to Renuka Madam’s house ,as my friends were having tuition there. I also studied there. With a hesitation I went in to the terrace where the tuition was going. My friends were there .Rain was drizzling and was making noise when it touched the corrugated tin roof .I was drenched in rain and my mind was drenched in sadness. I was shivering and I said bye to madam and I was not able to look in to the eyes of my friends .I think my friends too remember that day (not sure).While I stepped down the terrace I looked back .they were also looking me .Tears started coming out of my eyes I just wiped it and moved on .A part of my mind was fully filled by my friends and the other side by my parents .My mind was just like a pendulum .Its life ,Nothing is stable .It has to change and it should move on…My train was at 9:45 from Ambalapuzha station .My parents went early .So I was supposed to travel alone .My Uncle (Father’s Brother) accompanied me till the station .Two of my friends were also present in the station.Nitish and Rohith. It was raining .we just chatted till the train came .I stepped in to the train compartment. I just looked in to their eyes .I told them to be in touch .I had their hands inside my hand .The train started moving, slowly I was forced to leave their hands...I said bye to them .I started my journey to a new world which was unknown to me .The journey of life started .The childhood I spent, The friends I made, The love and affection I got, all those stuffs are just memories, the sweetest memories one can ever have in his life …The mysterious life…

CHILD HOOD

I don't know how to start it .Because I am not a writer .But one thing is sure ,childhood days are the best days in our life .Because during childhood we are so innocent .Our mind will be as clear as spring water .
I was born in a traditional nair family(Hindu) in Ambalapuzha ,Alleppey(known as Venice of the east ),Kerala.A place of scenic beauty with canals,backwater,paddy fields .My father was a commercial tax officer .And my mom, a traditional house wife.And the most interesting and important thing is that ,am the only son of my parents.I was a part of a joint family system.My uncle(fathers brother)was my hero in my childhood.I still remember those days ..He was the one who took me to my nursery in his bicycle.And he was the one who taught me swimming .He always prepared fish curry and fish fry for me.The good old days .It just went away .I really miss those days .I had many friends in my childhood(now i dont have many ).The friends with whom i fought ,i played ..its really nostalgic..I still remember their names-Aysha Ashraf,Aysha Jahan,Kannan,Aleena,Arun,Nandu,Jibin,Subhash,Nitish,Aswathy.s.Babu,Aarya,Gokul,Hima,Vidya,Amal,Neethu,Sandhu,Darshan,Gopi,Rohith,Rahul,vinayan,nikhil g,Nikhil jith..forgive me if i missed any one ..
the list goes on like that ..These are my school mates .Also i had some friends around my house .Most of them were girls...Haha .We used to play a lot ..Now those girls are married ..Goshh the days went like that ..
MY FIRST LOVE
Here comes the most interesting part of may child hood .I still remember ,it was during my third standard i met that girl ..Readers please don't get excited ..hehe.Her name is RESHMA. She was sitting near to me .She was too much friendly with me..I was interested in Sketching and it was my hobby.Even she was also interested in the same. Years passed by ...Gradually as time passed we stopped speaking to each other .I was friendly with all other girls in my class.But not with RESHMA..I don't know why I did like that .It was in seventh standard that we spoke each other after a long time ,but that too not for a good cause..She gave some funny comments on me in front of the whole class .(i think she called me Maddy ...).I was really angry at that time & I just went and slapped her on her face..the first and the last time i slapped a girl ,that too in front of the whole class..She was totally shocked .Even i felt very bad.I was little afraid because i will be punished if she give a complaint against me to our class teacher.the matter came in front of my class teacher (Rekha mam).She was angry on me.She asked to me "Ananthu!! Why did you slapped her"?? I replied,"Miss...miss I..I No i am innocent ..I didn't slapped any one"!!Dont lie Ananthu she replied again..Suddenly She asked to my class mates "Did any one saw Ananthu slapping RESHMA"??I was really out of my mind .But they said "no we didn't" .
Oh my god thank you ....my mind said ..the whole class was supporting me .I felt that i am something .Mam told RESHMA to say sorry and she did the same..I looked her eyes at that time .Tears were flowing out like a fountain ..My mind got disturbed by that ..But as the time passed away the matter also got buried ..After that i got many calls in my land line .But when i attend the call there was no response from the other side .I was totally confused .So after this incident caller-Id was installed in my house (so that we can identify the number from which the call comes)One day i got a call in the afternoon .It was a holiday .I said"hello ...hello..who is dis..hello " no response from the other side But after some times i got a reply .."its ROSE"...
Rose ..who the hell is that I thought in my mind .suddenly she disconnected the call.After that i got the number from the caller id .So i started searching for the address for this number from the telephone directory................huh it was really a hectic job to find the address from the directory with the help of a number ..At last i found the Address...OHhhhhh my god it was RESHMA..
I told this things to my friends ..After that they started teasing me with the name ROSE.It was Sheena one of my best friend in my class who teased me the maximum ..I was not so serious about such things ..The things went very smoothly ....But our relation was also growing in between .Even though we didn't speak ed each other ..we were knowing how close our mind were.
But now i realise that it was just an attraction(for me ),not love .As the time passed i slowly started enjoying the relation with her ..I still remember the School Anniversary Function of my school when i was in 8th standard.I was the part of a drama called Tom sawyer and i was playing the lead role as tom Sawyer.She was also participating in a dance program.I met her in the make up room .I told her that " RESHMA hey RESHMA my drama is there .please stay back and watch my drama.She smiled at me .I was feeling like being in heaven ,when she smiled..The best memories of my life ..
We were in ninth standard when she left our school .She went with her father (he was in Saudi Arabia ).I still remember the day on which she left the school ..My friends asked me to tell her that i love her ..but i refused ..i dont know why i did like that .but my friends forced me to write a letter to her and i wrote a letter at last.It was not a letter It was just the words which came in to my mind "LOVE IS THE SPONTANEOUS OVERFLOW OF POWERFUL EMOTIONS" TO ROSE WITH LOVE ANANTHU".But theses words are not mine.This was said by some poet and it was regarding poetry..i dont remember that much ..she left the class room with tears ...MY LOST LOVE....

AN INTRODUCTION

First of all, there is a small request from my part to all the readers , i am not a perfect guy and i have not been sincere in my life. The things which i am going to write here are the untold things in my life .If it hurts any one ,please forgive as i am trying to be back in my life .Its very hard to keep every things in mind.